This is a true story, but the names have been changed to protect identity.
“I guess God just didn’t want them,” she said. My head snapped around. I was participating in a church community group and Julie had been talking about how her parents had both died unregenerate. “And you can’t argue with God,” she finished. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. But this is the practical outworking of the so-called Doctrines of Grace that the church she attends is steeped in. Julie fully understood the consequences of Unconditional Election – if you’re on the secret list, you go to heaven; if not, well then God obviously didn’t want you. Or at least he didn’t want you in heaven with him, but rather he wanted you in Hell providing ECTT - Eternally Conscious Tormented Testimony to his Sovereign justice (although Total Depravity kind of undermines justice, but that’s another discussion).
I glanced over to her husband, Deric, the leader of the group. I thought he might provide some gentle correction, in the way Calvinists do, and bypass this uncomfortable truth of Calvinism. Perhaps he would point out how it’s all Adam’s fault, not God’s. He put his hand on her shoulder and said, “But you were always a faithful witness to them.” Another double-take on my part. Perhaps he didn’t fully understand Unconditional Election or its corollary tenet, Total Inability. If Julie’s mom and dad were born into this world with ZERO ability to respond to God except negatively, and never could unless first regenerated, then they were doomed from all eternity unless they were one of the elect. No degree of witness faithfulness would have had any effect on them. I expect he understood this intellectually, but holistically, the Doctrines of Grace require more than a spoonful of sugar to go down.
What a heart-breaking experience to feel like you wanted salvation for your parents more than God wanted it for them.
First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time. (1 Timothy 2:1-4)